First of all there is the Headmaster of Fiction. He is invariably called "The Doctor," and he wears cap and gown even when birching malefactors--which he does intermittently throughout the day--or attending a cricket match. For all we know he wears them in bed. He speaks a language peculiar to himself--a language which at once enables you to recognise him as a Headmaster; just as you may recognise a stage Irishman from the fact that he says "Begorrah!", or a stage sailor from the fact that he has to take constant precautions with his trousers. Thus, the "Doctor" invariably addresses his cowering pupils as "Boys!"--a form of address which in reality only survives nowadays in places where you…
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